CAST OF CHARACTERS
Sarah: A naive, single woman in her early 20’s
Austin: A quick-witted man in his early 20’s
Dianna: A spunky woman in her early 30’s
Ajusshi: A middle-aged Korean man, single and ready to mingle
The ground floor of Home Plus in Chilgok, South Korea.
SARAH and DIANNA stand in a grocery aisle with a cart full of their purchases: bedding, tailored pants, winter coats, hangers, soju, chips, candy. They look tired from their afternoon of shopping. Austin is in a different aisle, pacing back and forth, wondering what soju to add to his spoils.
An older Korean man, the AJUSSHI, approaches SARAH.
Ajusshi: Where are you from? Americans?
Sarah: Yes, we’re from the United States.
Ajusshi: Which part?
Sarah: I’m from Colorado.
Ajusshi: I know Colorado! They have professional baseball team, yes?
Sarah: Uh…probably. I don’t really know sports. Baseball? They probably have professional baseball…I don’t really know.
Ajusshi: [guffaws] You don’t know!
Dianna: I’m from Wisconsin.
Ajusshi: Oh! Oh! Yes, yes. Wisconsin. I think I know Wisconsin, too.
[All smile and nod, like ya do.]
Ajusshi: [to Sarah] How long have you been in Korea?
Sarah: About three, four weeks now.
Ajusshi: Are you single or married?
Sarah: …Uh, um, single? [Looks at DIANNA uncertainly.]
DIANNA shakes her head “no.”
AUSTIN approaches the shopping cart.
Ajusshi: Do you have a boyfriend? [He looks at AUSTIN.]
SARAH blinks at AUSTIN.
AUSTIN blinks at SARAH.
SARAH blinks at DIANNA.
The AJUSSHI blinks at SARAH.
Sarah: Uh, yes. Yes, boyfriend. [She points at AUSTIN.]
Austin: I’m her boyfriend.
Ajusshi: Ah! Oh, yes. Wonderful! Wonderful. [Quickly exits stage left.]
Sarah: [to DIANNA and AUSTIN] I’m the worst at lying when I actually should.
Dianna: Yes, you are. [laughs] And you’re flushed.
On a bench at Gumi Station, shopping bags lined up at their feet.
Austin: Well, Sarah, I hate to say it, but I think I’m going to have to break it off.
Sarah: How could you do this! Our love only just began.
Austin: I just feel used, you know?
Sarah: But you were there. You were there! When I needed you most!
Dianna: [on the edge of her seat] I feel like I’m watching a K-drama!
Austin: You can go on without me. We just don’t need each other anymore.
Sarah: You’re right. But, Austin?
Austin: Yes, Sarah?
Sarah: Thank you. I’ve learned so much through this relationship. The next time an ajusshi tries to pick me up, I now know what to say.
Austin: What’s that?
Sarah: “Yes. Yes! I have a boyfriend. He’s in the military. We have couples’ outfits and everything, so it’s very serious.”
[Both gaze off into the sunset.]
Dianna: [clapping and wiping tears from her eyes] Atta’ girl! Atta’ girl!